


You Kuku Little Girl

by TomiTransylvania



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Fluff, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9573341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomiTransylvania/pseuds/TomiTransylvania
Summary: Rufus Lore and Bixlow have been together and married for a little over a year now, and when they get back from separate jobs, their conversation  brings on a dream that causes Rufus to spiral out of control. Nothing seems to be able to bring him out of it. Except apparently one person.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I have to admit that I'm really bad when it comes to writing summaries. I hope you give this a chance. This was originally supposed to be part of a series of fics written by myself and a friend centered around Fraxus and Ruflow (Rufus/Bixlow), but with how things worked out this is in a way an alternate version of things. None of the other fics are posted, but we are working on it. I wrote this alone and since it was finished, I couldn't really wait to post it. I needed to get my OTP out there! lol I hope you enjoy this!

Noticing the time, Rufus Lore, a Sabertooth Memory Make Mage yawned. He'd stayed up having been expecting his husband, Bixlow, a Fairy Tail Seith Mage home any time now. He'd been away on a job with the Thunder Legion the last week and he didn't want to waste being able to welcome him home. 

Over the last couple of months since getting married, the couple hadn't been able to spend much time together since they were always away on jobs. And being from different mage guilds, they didn't often get to work together. So when they had time to spend together, Rufus always planned on staying up till all hours in the night in order to monopolize as much time with Bixlow as he possibly could. 

By the time his husband got home, it was nearly two in the morning and Rufus had unintentionally fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him with a classic horror novel open in his lap. Sitting up, he rubbed at his eyes and looked over to where the front door was closing behind the blue and black haired man. As always, his backpack was slung over his shoulder and his helmet and mask set in place. 

He stayed where he was and admired the man before him. He had to be exhausted. The job he'd been on hadn't been close, and to see the ever present grin on his face despite the long journey home, made the blonde smile. 

Rufus would have never in a million years have thought that someone like Bixlow would be able to love him. He could be demanding, pushy, arrogant, condescending, demeaning of others, entitled and very selfish. Bixlow was none of those things. He was kind, giving, very family oriented when it came to his guild and those he loved, protective and always smiling. 

Somehow what had started off as just sex between the two of them, had turned into so much more. Much to their surprise. Here they were, nearly a year later, married and living together halfway between each of their guildhalls. Neither wanted to choose between their guild and the man they loved. So they compromised.

"Why are you still awake?" This from Bixlow as he walked over to the couch where Rufus was kneeling. 

"I wanted to be up when you got home," Rufus said and tugged the seith mage down by his shirt for a kiss. "You know that." 

"It's also nearly three in the morning." Bixlow commented before stealing another kiss. 

"Doesn't matter to me," The blonde replied, "if I'm home before you from a job I'll stay up till you get home." 

Bixlow smiled at his husband and stole one more kiss before standing up properly. He would always wonder how someone like Rufus could have ever fallen in love with him. He still couldn't believe his luck. 

He kept looking at the blonde as he pulled his mask and helmet off. "Well now you can go to bed. I'm home." Bix said and ducked as his tikis zoomed by chasing each other shouting out "home" one after the other. 

"When you're going to bed I will." Rufus said standing up and stretching. "How'd the job go?" 

"It would have finished sooner if Ever hadn't have gotten hurt by the monsters we were sent after." Bixlow replied as he started taking off his layers of clothing and went on to tell Rufus about the job. 

Rufus took similar jobs himself, but he found when Bix told a story, any kind of story, he was able to capture his attention almost instantly. He enjoyed hearing stories from him. Especially the ones from before his mom had died when he was little. His favourite to date was their attempt to bake a birthday cake together. 

"Wait you had to take on how many of these things?" Rufus said thinking he'd heard the number wrong. 

"We were told by the guy who asked for us that there were about thirty of these things. So we figured couple days and we'd be back on our way home. We get to where they were hiding out and see at least triple of them!" Bixlow said and went on to finish his story. 

As he told his story, they headed back to their bedroom to start getting ready for bed. Rufus grabbed the duffle bag to put the dirty clothes in the hamper, knowing Bixlow would leave it until morning if he himself didn't do it now. 

That was another thing where the two contrasted. Rufus was very much a neat freak, where Bixlow wasn't at all. He'd get around to cleaning up eventually, but it didn't stress him if things were untidy for a while. Rufus almost gagged when he pulled out a particular pair of pants though. 

"Oh my god." The blonde gagged covering his nose and mouth with his free hand. 

"Yeah..." Bixlow said laughing at the reaction. "We had an incident where I fell into a ton of mud and pond scum." 

Dropping the pants into the hamper, Rufus made a note to at some point the next day to do the laundry. He wasn't going to let those ferment any longer than they already had. 

"Yes well," Rufus laughed. "As amusing as that story would be, those are disgusting." 

They fell into companionable silence as they went about their business of getting ready for bed. For Rufus it was stripping down to his boxers and brushing out his long hair and brushing his teeth. For Bixlow it was stripping to his skin and openly staring at the blonde before him. 

"My last job was dreadful." Rufus said after being asked how it had gone. "It was a protection detail for a lord of some sorts daughter. Bringing her from the family estate to the capital." 

"Dreadful?" The Fairy asked settling into bed with a goofy grin, his tongue hanging out. "How so?" 

"While I enjoy being asked questions about my magic, and guild life, I do not relish the "why men?" and "why do you wear a mask?" questions." Rufus said turning the bedroom light off and climbing into bed beside Bixlow. 

He did have one moment after his job was over. He had been on his way from the meeting point in Crocus to head to the train station to head back home when it happened. 

He was waiting for some carts to go by when a little girl had come running between them in the traffic. She had clearly been crying as the dirt on her face had streaks all through it. He had approached her carefully so as to not spook her. 

After asking her what was wrong, Rufus had found out that she was lost. She had gotten separated from her father and grandmother on the way here. A bunny had distracted her and when she turned around she couldn't find either of them. 

"The poor child was terrified," Rufus went on to tell Bixlow. The whole thing having touched him when finally, he had found the little girls family. "I couldn't just leave her in the middle of a huge city like that alone. I stayed with her and started looking for her father with her. Took a few hours, but we managed to finally find him. I never realized how big Crocus actually is until then."

"Its bigger than Magnolia I know that." Was Bixlow's yawned response. Exhaustion was quickly catching up to them both. Neither could stop yawning. 

"Yeah. I can't imagine feeling like that though." Rufus commented as he laid down getting comfy in bed. "That terror that you'll never see your child again... he tried to pay me for bringing her back to him. I couldn't take any money for that. It was the right thing to do." 

"So where did you get this from then?" Bixlow asked toying with a bracelet he'd noticed was on his husbands wrist that wasn't there the last time they'd seen each other. 

"The little girls grandmother made it. Insisted I take it as a thank you token. To show their gratitude. I didn't want to, but they looked so pleased and eager for me to have it... I couldn't say no." Rufus said tangling their legs together and laying his head on Bixlow's shoulder. 

Bixlow smiled to himself, no matter how much Rufus said he wasn't a good person, deep down he really was. If he was such a bad person he would have left the child right where she was and not cared what happened to her either way. A year ago maybe he would have. Purely out of fear of the repercussions from Jiemma, but not now. Ever since Sting had taken over as master of Sabertooth, all the members had started to change and think of others outside of themselves. They weren't quite at Fairy Tails level of it all, but they were getting there. Slowly but surely they would one of these days. 

"And you say you're a horrible person," he commented to the blonde while stroking his hair. 

While Bixlow found the Rufus from the Grand Magic Games to be one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen, he fully supported the man in bed with him changing. He had given him a few conditions though that he wanted him to stick by when starting on his journey to change himself for the better. 

The first condition was to not change his tenacity. To not slow himself down just because most people couldn't keep up with his mind. Because of his memory magic, his mind was a very finely tuned weapon or instrument. Which one it was referred to all depended on who was talking with Rufus. For Bix it was always instrument. One of his nicknames for the man he'd married was Minstrel after all. 

His final condition was to always make sure that he talked to him. About where he wanted to go and be in life, anything at all. Neither wanted to be left behind in their life together. 

And so far, since Rufus had made the decision to change himself for the better, he had followed the conditions Bixlow had given him. They were things he himself didn't want to change about himself anyways. They weren't so hard to follow as he had thought the conditions would be when Bixlow had first mentioned he had them. 

"I am," Rufus said in response to Bixlow. "But I'm working on it. One day I'll be the person you seem to think I am." 

While Bixlow saw the perfect person for him in Rufus, flaws and all, he wanted the blonde to be completely happy with himself. He knew that since meeting the seith mage properly, and thinking back to how he'd acted during the games - competition aside- he'd been appalled at himself. He didn't like what he saw, or what other people saw. He'd made a vow to himself that he would work hard to become the type of person who deserved Bixlow. 

With thoughts of the little girl on his mind, Rufus's eyes closed and slowly, he was lulled to sleep by the steady beat of his husband's heart and breathing. 

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

_"Daddy," a soft voice said and he felt a tapping on his shoulder. "Daddy wake up."_

_Groaning and very much not ready to wake up yet, Rufus cracked an eye open. Before him stood a small girl with long blonde hair identical to his own and the bright green eyes of his husband Bixlow. He opened his other eye when he saw the look on their daughter's face. It had been a while since she'd had a nightmare._

_As was their habit when she had a nightmare, he lifted the blankets and let her climb into bed with them. Glad he'd remembered to make Bixlow drag on boxers after their fun earlier that night, he cuddled her back against him._

_"What happened baby girl?" Rufus asked her stroking her hair softly. It was one of the surefire ways to get her back to sleep after a bad dream._

_"Grandpa Maki had been poisoned by Miss Yusica and he started going around killing everyone! Even you and Papa! He were laughin' as he did it!" Her voice was getting pitchier the more she said. Fresh tears started falling as the images started to come back to her._

_Well this was a new one. She hadn't had this nightmare before. He kept stroking her hair and rubbed her back as she rolled and pressed her face into his chest, the tears still falling fast._

_"Bikku, did you watch that video Papa and I told you not to watch anymore?" Rufus asked their daughter gently as Bixlow woke up. He rolled over to face them._

_The little blonde shook her head sniffling against his chest. A muffled sound escaped and he assumed she had started talking. Bixlow eased her onto her back as he shifted closer to comfort her along with Rufus. They waited until the worst of the hiccups and tears had stopped for her to continue._

_"No," she said looking up at them and the green of her eyes was even brighter because of her tears. "I got hungry after I went sleep."_

_Bixlow lifted his hand and wiped away the tears on her face. "What did you eat baby?" He asked her and gave her kisses on each of her cheeks, her nose, her lips and finally each of her eyes. That was a Papa only, 'Bikku feel better,' remedy._

_"Had some lefover chicken from last night..." Bikku said looking at her hands now. She remembered the last nightmare she'd had after having chicken really late at night. They'd told her not to do it again and she did it anyways. She couldn't help herself! Her daddies made really good chicken dinners!_

_"You Kuku little girl," Bixlow said using his favourite nickname for her and leaned down and kissed her cheek loudly making her giggle despite her fear, "you remember the last time you did that."_

_They couldn't be mad at her for this. They told her not to eat after she'd been put to bed time and time again, but they also didn't want her starving either. She did have her Papa's appetite after all. Never ending._

_"Yeah," she said quietly and started twirling Rufus's hair around her little index finger._

_"How about from now on we keep some stuff that doesn't give you nightmares if you get hungry in the middle of the night on the bottom shelf of the fridge for you?" Rufus said already making a list in his head of what to stock on that shelf._

_"Like cookies?!" Bikku asked eyes going round in excitement. Cookies of any kind were her favourite thing in the world._

_Rufus gave her a look. He drew the line at cookies in the middle of the night. Or anything sugary and sweet like that. He didn't say anything, knowing that she knew what the answer was going to be._

_He saw the pout forming on her face already. He stroked his hand along the back of her head smiling fondly at her. He couldn't get over how he and Bixlow had been blessed with such a creature._

_"How about the fruits you love so much?" He suggested instead. "And we put some bread and butter on the bottom shelf for you?"_

_"Okay!" Bikku said eyes shinning and the two fathers could see the fear all but vanish completely._

_"And maybe sometimes we can put peanut butter as a treat." Bixlow said and saw the remnants of fear disappear entirely. She loved peanut butter almost as much as she loved cookies. A trait she had picked up from Frosch, Rogue's exceed._

_Not long after that she curled into Bixlow, her head laying on his chest and reached behind her for Rufus. Despite not being afraid anymore, she still wanted to be cocooned between her fathers. Wrapping her little hand in his, the blonde curled around her and laid his head on the pillow. The two watched her slowly, drift off to sleep._

_Rufus looked over at the man he'd married nearly five years ago. Two days from now it will be five years they've been married and it will also be their daughter's fourth birthday. They still had so much left to prepare for it._

_Even though he was stressing a little about all they had left to get ready for her birthday, he knew it would be a great day. Mirajane was making the cake from the recipe Bixlow made her use, Sabertooth was taking care of decorating and Fairy Tail was preparing the food._

_This year, Bikku's birthday was being held in the Fairy Tail guildhall. They alternated between guilds each year for her. Despite everything for the most part being taken care of, Bixlow and Rufus had some surprises of their own for her. Those were what were stressing him. They still weren't ready._

_When things didn't go how they had been planned, Rufus stressed. In times like now, curled around their daughter with Bixlow on her other side, he couldn't help but feel at peace. She calmed him almost as easily as Bixlow did._

_"It still astonishes me that we deserve someone like this." He said quietly not looking up, his gaze still fixed on the tiny blonde between them._

_Bixlow gave a low chuckle and turned his head enough to place a kiss on Rufus's forehead. "Kuku? I'm still trying to believe my luck with you." He said, his tongue handing out._

_"Liar," Rufus commented with an amused tone. "How did we get so lucky to have her?"_

_"I'm pretty sure you'll find the answer to that before I do." Bixlow commented as his eyes drifted back to their daughter._

_She was so much like the two of them it was baffling. She had Rufus's long blonde hair, his mind that was quick as a whip, his not so angular and sharp features, and his love of books. She had his own freakish eyes and tongue, his grin, along with his appetite and love of teasing._

_She did get one thing that both men shared. Their love of family. Her nightmares were proof enough of that. Their greatest fear was losing each other._

_Until they had had Bikku, Bixlow had always said if anything were to happen to Rufus causing him to die, that he would soon follow. Rufus had felt very much the same way as Bixlow did. And then the miracle of all miracles happened and they had somehow been blessed with their daughter. Their previous sentiment, though the love and passion and conviction it held, neither could imagine ever being able to leave her behind to follow their love. They fought to live for her and keep their small family together. Neither wanted to lose this feeling._

_"Two days and she'll be four." Rufus said amazed._

_"Two days and it'll be five years for us too." Bixlow said looking down at Rufus. "And I love you more and more as each day passes."_

_Looking up at the blue and black haired man, Rufus smiled. It was a smile reserved specifically for Bixlow. The first love of his life, his soulmate. No one else had ever had this particular smile aimed at them. It made butterflies erupt in the Fairy's belly every time he saw it. He couldn't help himself, he turned his head enough and reached over gently and careful not to wake Bikku, he cupped the back of Rufus's head and gave him a slow kiss._

_Finally they fell back to sleep after watching Bikku sleep for a while longer. There were some days they wished she could stay this small. They knew it wouldn't happen, but they could wish._

_"She's going to be even more beautiful when she's grown up," Rufus commented watching her colour the following morning as they prepared breakfast._

_"Just like her daddy." This from Bixlow as he pressed a kiss to Rufus's cheek._

_"And a great mage." Rufus said. Already at a day shy of four years old, they could sense the magic running within her. What magic she will decide to study they didn't know. Whatever it was though, they knew she would master it._

_"Daddy can we have bacon with breakfast?" They hadn't noticed she'd left her colouring and had wandered into the kitchen._

_"You want bacon with the loaded hashbrowns?" Bixlow asked her bending down and picking her up._

_"Aye sir!" Clearly she'd been spending time Happy when she was at the Fairy Tail guild lately._

_"Adding bacon will cost you Kuku." Bixlow said poking her on the nose._

_"Kisses!" She said beaming brightly, her tongue hanging out like Bixlow's did._

_"Kisses are a fair payment for adding bacon." Bix said matching her smile._

_Rufus, amused at his daughter and husband, laughed to himself as he headed for the fridge to pull out the bacon. He set it on the counter and approached the other two pursing his lips at Bikku. As expected, the little blonde leaned over and gave her usual exaggerated kiss._

_"One more kiss for daddy?" Rufus asked her tucking her hair behind her ear and he grinned even more when she gave him another one followed by a hug._

_"Payment accepted," Bixlow and Rufus said at the same time._

_"Does that mean extra bacon?" Bikku asked hopeful._

_"We'll see," Rufus said, "go play while we finish making breakfast."_

_Bending down, Bixlow snuck in another kiss before setting her down and sending her on her way. Each and every day she did or said something that would make them feel so completely loved and admired by her. Today, that would be it._

_Hearing a sound from their bedroom, Rufus asked if Bixlow could go check on it while he watched the food. It ended up, once Bixlow came back to the kitchen, that their presents for Bikku's birthday were finally in._

_Not a moment too soon either. Her birthday was the next day! Rufus hadn't slept properly the night before, worried that they wouldn't get here in time. After breakfast was done and the dishes were being washed, Rufus would go down to the post office and get them._

_He knew Bix could distract her from wondering why Daddy was gone when they were supposed to be going to her great grandparents house soon after breakfast. Distractions were a specialty of Bixlow's and his babies. Rufus need not worry. Only if the gifts were broken. Then there would be hell to pay._

_As he headed to the post office, Rufus couldn't help but go over the list of things that needed to be finished for the following day. He was very much a planner. Very organized and detail oriented. He needed to get in touch with Mira and ask how the cake and food preparations were going, along with calling Sting and Rogue about the decorations and transporting them all to Fairy Tail._

_And make sure that he spoke with his mother before tomorrow as well to make sure that she behaves and keeps her comments to herself. They didn't need a repeat of Bixlow's birthday the year before happening at Bikku's birthday party tomorrow._

_It was a wonder he hadn't somehow created a storm by the time he reached the post office. Just thinking of all the things his mother has done and said at previous special occasions was enough to make the memory mage murderous._

_His grandmother and grandfather were going to be going tomorrow to Fairy Tail with them. It was why they were going to their estate today. His grandfather insisted on using one of his carriages to take them all to the guildhall. His mother, despite claiming otherwise, was in fact scared of his grandmother, a retired water mage._

_"Everything alright Mr. Lore?" the clerk behind the counter asked upon seeing the scowl._

_Rufus shook himself out of his thoughts, and gave the man a smile. "Yes," he said going up to the counter. "quite alright. I was made aware there were a couple packages waiting for me?"_

_"Yes, they just came in this morning!" The short man said. "I made sure to contact you soon as I received them. I know how you've been expecting them." He held up a finger to motion to wait a minute as he disappeared through a door to fetch the three packages he and Bixlow had ordered._

_Due to the man's short stature, the three parcels blocked his view as he came back into the front of the post office. One of them being as large as it was after all. The other two weren't all that big in size. He set them on the counter and grinned at Rufus._

_"Little Bikku must be excited for tomorrow." He said to Rufus as he slid over the sheet of paper for the mage to sign as was protocol._

_"She's been bouncing all over the apartment." Rufus said fondly. "Can't stop talking about getting to see Grandpa Maki, Uncle Freed and Laxus and Auntie Cana and Evergreen and everyone else. She keeps zooming about the place on Bixlow's tiki's making up her 'it's almost my birthday' songs as she does."_

_"Well wish her a happy birthday from us." The postman said as he filed the paper away and waved as Rufus left the shop with the packages._

_"I will," the blonde said. "Thank you Devon."_

_As he headed back home, Rufus couldn't help, but let out a breath of relief. A huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders now that Bikku's birthday presents had finally come. He walked into their apartment and made sure that she was distracted by something else and made a b-line for his and Bixlow's bedroom where he kept the wrapping paper and things._

_Keeping the door closed over but not shut, Rufus listened to the story that she was making up with Bixlow about her stuffed unicorn and her stuffed chicken._

_She loved making up stories about her different stuffed animals and toys. While most of them were amusing, she did tell some that were rather odd. Something she had picked up from Bixlow. He liked making up weird stories for her as bedtime stories when it was his turn for bedtime routine. Rufus was more the type to read from his favourite books as her bedtime stories. They were both definitely the reason some of their guild mates have commented on how odd she could be at times._

_Neither Bixlow nor himself would change her for the world. She was their little miracle._

_"Whatcha thinking about?" Bixlow asked later that night as he found his husband standing in the doorway of the room his grandparents-in-law had set up for Bikku in their home._

_"Just thinking about when we found out about her. And that I wouldn't change anything about her for the world." Rufus said leaning back against him._

_"It was definitely a panicked time for us." Bixlow said._

_Looking back at him Rufus commented, "I locked you out of the apartment for a week."_

_"Yes, well." Bixlow said wrapping his arms around the blonde from behind. "We each had our own way of dealing with what Porlyusica told us. I am sorry about that. But I wouldn't change anything about her for the world either."_

_"You two keep watching her sleep and talking like that you'll wake her up." Rufus's grandmother commented and ushered them away closing the bedroom door over._

_"Sleeps like the dead Gram," Rufus said but headed down the hall with her anyways. "Just like Bix. You know that."_

_"Either way," she said. "Let the girl sleep. She's gonna need her rest tonight. What with all the excitement she's going to have tomorrow."_

_"Goodnight Gram." Rufus said leaning down and kissing the elderly woman's cheek._

_"Goodnight dears," she said before heading into her and her husbands bedroom for the night._

_"We should get to sleep too," Bixlow commented taking Rufus's hand._

_"Are you not planning to ravish me?" Rufus wondered with a teasing smirk on his face as they closed the bedroom door behind them._

_It turned out that yes, he had been planning on it. But because they'd been right out front of Rufus's grandparents room he didn't want to voice it to them._

_The next morning after breakfast had been finished, they needed to get ready to go to Magnolia. Having gone to put away their things, Rufus and Bixlow couldn't find their mask or hat. And one of Bixlow's sleeveless shirts had gone missing from his bag._

_Knowing just who the little thief was, they went to Bikku's bedroom. One of her favourite games was dress up. Especially in her daddies clothes._

_When they opened her bedroom door they saw her in the middle of the floor, Bixlow's shirt and eye mask on along with Rufus's hat on her head. She was playing some kind of game with the stuffed unicorn she'd brought along with her._

_"Hey Kuku," Rufus said going into the room. "Whatcha doing? We need to get ready to go."_

_"Just playing," she said. She loved Bixlow's eye mask and Rufus's hat with the big feathers on it. "I'm a knight going to save the prince from danger."_

_"Is that so?" Bixlow said crouching down to her height. "Do you think the prince would mind waiting a little longer? At least until later today?"_

_"I don't think he'd mind no." She said. "Why?"_

_"We're going to Magnolia." Rufus said. "It is your birthday after-all."_

_"Okay!!" She said and scrambled up to put her pyjamas back into her bag and find her shoes. "I'm ready!!" She said lifting the visor up so her vision wasn't obstructed._

_"Let's get going then." Bix said knowing she was going to be even more excited when she saw all her aunts and uncles and Grampa Maki when they got to the Fairy Tail guildhall._

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

Everyone's felt that sensation of falling in their sleep and it waking them up. The feeling that Rufus felt just then was very similar to that. Looking around him all he could see was darkness. He felt the lump beside him that was Bixlow, but there was a lump missing. Something wasn't that should be. A very big part of their lives. Eyes widening he scrambled out of bed and pulled on boxers before tearing out of their room. 

Running all through the apartment, checking in every room and tiny little space he could think of. He just couldn't find her. Where was she?! 

"Bikku?!" He called out frantically. All reason had left him. He needed to find his daughter. She was only little. She couldn't fend for herself yet! She needed him! "Bikku!! Where are you?!"

He was about to leave the apartment to look around for her outside when it hit him. They didn't haven't a daughter. The tiny little blonde version of the two of them didn't exist. He'd never given birth to her four years ago. There was no little girl that had his hair and Bixlow's eyes and tongue. 

As soon as reality set in, he didn't know what to do with himself. He could still feel the memory of having carried her for nine months in him as she grew, could remember every little story she'd told them, every hug and kiss and every smile she'd ever given them. 

Why did it have to be a dream?! Why couldn't it be real?! He wanted that life! He wanted little Bikku back! He wanted to be able to hold her in his arms. 

He leaned against the front door to his and Bixlow's apartment and slid down it. He remembered her nightmare and how she'd gone to them for comfort and that was all it took. The last resolve he had broke and the tears started quickly, followed by the sobbing as reality set in even more. They would never be able to have that. He would never feel that life growing inside him and get to hold her and watch her grow. 

He had never known that he wanted that. Hell he didn't even know if he truly liked children enough to have one of his own. But that dream...he had never known happiness quite like that. It broke his heart. No, it shattered his heart into a million tiny shards. 

He could hardly breathe properly through his crying. He was so torn up over the dream not being real that he didn't even notice Bixlow had woken up and walked out of their bedroom. 

He jerked gasping in surprise when he felt a hand on his arm. Seeing Bixlow in front of him made the pain even worse for the blonde because he didn't know. He didn't have the same dream as he had just had. 

Rufus buried his face in his hands and just cried even harder. He couldn't even answer him when Bix asked him what was wrong. He could just shake his head. He couldn't tell him. He would think he's insane. 

Bixlow watched as Rufus fell apart before him unable to do anything except hold him. He tried to hold back from using his magic, but he needed to know. He needed to see how his soul was affected by whatever had happened to cause him to react this way. He had never seen the blonde breakdown to this extent before. 

He adjusted himself to lean against the wall beside the door and coaxed Rufus into his lap and held him tightly. He stroked his hair and pressed a kiss every so often to his temple. 

Finally he decided he couldn't hold out any longer. He needed to see. Usually Rufus's soul was a mixture of white with an orange-yellow tint to it. As he used his magic to see it now, it hurt him to see what he saw. Instead of his soul being the bright vibrant colours it usually was, today it was nothing like that. The white was being taken over by the colour of depression, black. 

Closing his eyes, Bixlow held onto the blonde tighter. "It'll be okay." He said holding the blonde even closer to him. How on earth was he going to make this better when he had no idea what had caused this sort of breakdown? 

"We didn't even get to throw her her birthday party yet." Rufus managed to get out between wracking sobs and hiccups. 

"Who?" Bix wanted to know. "Who didn't we get to throw a birthday party for?" 

"Bikku!" Rufus was clearly distraught over this. "It was her fourth birthday and we were on our way to Magnolia for her party." 

"Bikku? Fourth birthday?" Bixlow was trying to understand. "Who is Bikku baby?" 

"Our daughter in the dream I had!" Rufus said. 

"Our daughter?" Bixlow couldn't deny that the thought of that caused panic seep it's way in. 

Kids? He'd always said he wouldn't have any. Anything to avoid turning out like the man who'd fathered him. It was just a dream though. It wasn't real. 

However, as Rufus calmed down more and was able to talk, the way he described the little girl from his dream... Well he couldn't help but smile a little. 

"Why?" Rufus said quietly, "Why did I have to dream about that? I can't give you that! What would you want with me? Angela gave you that already. What use am I for anything?" 

Bixlow was trying his best to find something to say to his husband to make this better, but no matter how hard he tried, he came up short. He had no idea what to say. So instead he held him tighter and closer to him. 

He could see that despite having calmed down, the black surrounding Rufus was getting denser. His souls colour had all but completely vanished. It pained Bixlow to see this happening. He never wanted to see this happen to Rufus. 

"Come on baby." Bixlow said. "Let's go back to bed okay? It's late, you'll feel better in the morning." 

But what Bixlow hadn't counted on, was that three days later Rufus would still be as bad as he was when he had first found him. In the three days since Rufus had had the dream about the two of them having a baby together, he had barely said three words or eaten a full meal. 

Bixlow had no idea what to do to help his husband get passed this. He was currently sat in the Fairy Tail guild hall nursing a beer and a plate of chicken wings that he had barely even touched. It wasn't like him to do this. Even on some of his worst days he still had an endless appetite. 

"I'm starting to get worried for him," Freed said to Laxus from another table. 

"They have a fight?" This from Laxus. 

In the time since the dream Bixlow hadn't told anyone about what had happened. He didn't know what to say first of all. And secondly the person he'd been going to recently about anything was away on a job. Usually he would talk to Laxus and Freed about this sort of thing, but this was very different. 

How do you go up to them and ask what to do when your husbands had a dream about having a baby and the two of you having fathered it. It was too weird. Neither of them wanted children so it didn't help matters either. 

Times like these was when he desperately wanted and needed his mom. He heaved a sigh and looked up as his best friend sat down across from him and took his pint. 

"We don't waste alcohol in this guild, Lore." The mage said as she drank from the mug. "I hear you've been a downer lately. What's going on?" 

Leave it to Cana, the guild alcoholic and his best friend, to say something like that and not beat around the bush. It still amused him that she had taken to calling him Lore instead of Bixlow. It made him crack a smile. 

"I don't even know where to begin to be honest." He said to her and pushed the plate of wings across for her to finish. 

"The start usually helps." She commented picking up one of the chicken wings. 

"Then it was the day you left on your job." He started and took a breath. 

Cana remained quiet as Bixlow started to tell her what had been going on since. About the dream and everything that had stemmed from it afterwards. She'd expected to hear about them having had a fight over something and it had put Bix out of sorts. But certainly not this that's for sure. 

"He won't leave the house let alone our bed. And he hasn't eaten in three days either. I'm worried he's gonna get sick from this." Bixlow said and looked at Cana. 

"Come on." She said getting up. "Let's go kick his butt out of this funk." 

"I've tried everything Cana." Bixlow said, but he stood up anyways. "He won't listen to anything I say." 

"Let's go see what we can manage to get out of him anyways." She said and started out of the guild with him. 

As Bixlow and Cana left the hall those around them were stunned. Had they really heard him right? Freed and Laxus had been sitting close enough to hear their friends story about what was going on. They were just as stunned as everyone else was. 

They had known that since Indy had come into Bixlow's life that he had been more open to the idea of kids, but his fears about children had not gone away completely. 

He still feared turning into his father were he to be a part of the child's life from the very beginning. Indy was different. He only found out about him when he had turned ten years old. Angela, Indy's mother, had raised him on her own for ten years without Bixlow's help. Only time would tell. 

"Had anything changed out of the ordinary to make this dream happen?" Cana wanted to know. 

When she was sober she was very sound of mind. She could prove to be very helpful in this situation. Maybe even pull Rufus out of his sudden and deep depression that his dream had caused. Bixlow really hoped she could anyways. He wasn't having any luck so far. It was really starting to eat at him. 

"Not really, no." Bixlow commented as they made their way towards his and Rufus's apartment. "He went on a job while I was away on one and got back before I did." 

"Anything happen on his job?" Cana asked looping her arm through his as they walked. 

Bixlow took a minute to think about it. "No..." he started but stopped when he remembered the story about the lost little girl. "A little girl was lost when he was in Crocus. He helped her find her dad and grandmother. That's all he mentioned though. Job itself went normal. Was a simple escorting job for a lord of some kinds kid." 

"Maybe the lost kid was on his mind more than he realized or let on?" Cana offered as they turned onto a residential street that led to Bixlow and Rufus's current apartment. 

"It had to have been." Bix agreed with her. "How else would a dream like that come out?" 

"Unless children have been on his mind since before then. Conscious of it or not." 

Bixlow swallowed thickly as Cana said that. Sure he was a bit more open to the idea of kids since finding out he has a son, but it didn't mean he was prepared for, or wanted more anytime soon. He could feel his palms get a bit clammy as she let her last statement hang in the air. 

"I don't know if he was aware of it if he'd tell me." Bixlow argued. 

"You're not the most receptive of the idea. He might keep it to himself knowing it's not your favourite subject in the world." Cana reasoned. 

Bixlow had to agree with her there. He had taken the news of Indy better than anyone would have thought he would. Himself included come to think of it. But this was very different. This was consciously wanting one. 

He looked up as they reached his building. Fishing his keys out of his pocket, they climbed the stairs to the front door. They were quiet until they closed the door at the top of the stairs that led into the actual apartment. 

It was dead quiet. Almost as if Rufus wasn't even there. Bixlow knew he was home though. Since their relationship had become deeper than just sex whenever they were in each others town refusing to acknowledge what they were, Bix had found that something in the air, a vibe of sorts you could say, he could always tell. A gravitational pull almost to the presence of Rufus. 

He took off his mask and helmet and set them on a table by the door. 

"Rufus?" He called out as Cana closed the door behind them.

Before he could move a muscle to start looking for him, a loud angry sob sounded followed by something crashing. Well at least he knew he was home for sure now. 

"I thought you said he was barely moving or saying anything?" Cana said quietly as they headed for the bedroom. 

"Until now he hadn't." Bixlow replied as he opened the bedroom door find the room all but trashed completely and Rufus sobbing into his hands on the floor in the middle of it all. 

"Rufus?" Cana said making her way over to the crying blonde. 

He didn't move or say anything, just kept crying. This was really starting to worry Bixlow. He feared that no matter what Cana said or did while here with them both wouldn't change anything. What would he do if nothing helped? He doubted Porlyusica knew anything to make this go away. It wasn't a physical sickness that needed a salve or potion of some kind to make it go away. This was something else entirely different. He could always talk to Gramps if Cana couldn't help... 

"Rufus...?" Cana said again, but this time she was sitting beside him reaching and putting an arm around him, pulling him closer to her. 

It was almost as if the second he felt her arm around him that any strength he had left in his body vanished. He pressed his face against her and clung to her as he sobbed. 

"I'm useless!" He cried through his tears. 

"You know that's not true Rufus." Cana said gently as she stroked his hair looking up at Bix. 

"Yes I am!" Rufus could hardly get a word out in that sentence in one syllable his crying and hiccups were so bad. "What use am I to him?! I can't give him that life!" 

"And what life is that?" She said continuing her petting of his hair. 

"The life he deserves to have the chance at!" The blonde's cries were getting worse and Bixlow hated seeing his husband breaking like this. 

He forced his feet to move until he was able to sit next to Rufus and try and tug him over to himself. It was in vain though. Rufus rounded on him, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and crying and his face blotchy from all the crying he'd been doing lately. The look of pure devastation on the blondes face hurt Bixlow more than he'd ever admit to anyone, Rufus himself included. 

"I don't deserve you!" Rufus started and his crying only got worse the more he spoke. "What could you possibly gain by being with me?! I can't give you what Angela can. And has already! I can't give you what Cana can give Bacchus if they were to want it! What Evergreen can give Elfman. What use am I to you?! None! I'm nothing! It's impossible for me to give you any children like they could! Like Angela has. And could again!" 

"Baby," Bixlow started to say despite being completely stunned by what Rufus had just said. "You know that that has never been an issue for me. I love you. Children have never been a factor for me. Let alone a requirement." 

"You deserve someone who can give you so much more than I can. You deserve better than someone like me." 

Never in all the time that either Cana or Bixlow had known the blonde Sabertooth mage had they ever seen self doubt and self hatred from him. As they listened to him and watched him breaking down in front of them they didn't know what to say. Rufus Lore if anything, had always been confident in himself and in every aspect of his life. 

This...version of him was... it was almost wrong. He should never hate or doubt himself this much. Cana had seen these levels of hatred and disgust in other people, but never Rufus. As she watched him continue to cry, something in her clicked. Almost as if a switch had been turned on. 

She'd never thought about this in her life. Hell she didn't want it, but seeing how much Rufus clearly did she knew what she had to do. She reached over and touched her hand to the blondes arm. 

"Rufus?" She started gently. "Look at me please?" 

She waited for him to do as she asked before continuing. "Does this really mean that much to you? You and Bix having a child of your own to raise together?" 

Bixlow watched her with his husband unable to gauge where exactly she was going with this. He could feel his hands getting clammy again though and he wiped them on his pants legs. He saw the slight nod from Rufus in answer to Cana's question before a quiet, "yes," was said. 

"I'll do it." She said quietly to him. 

Bixlow and Rufus both looked at her confused. It was Rufus, however, that spoke up through his hiccups, sniffling and tears, "Do what Cana?" 

"I'll sober up." She started. "I'll sober up and do it for you." 

Rufus looked at her stunned. Was he hearing her right? Was she offering to do what he thought she was? 

"You..." Rufus said but had to stop his voice refusing to keep working. 

"I'll have a baby for you." She said it simply for them. "I'll sober up and arrange for artificial insemination." 

Rufus stared at her. He had not expected her to say that. Or anything along those lines for that matter come to think of it. No matter what he'd expected to hear from Cana, her words meant a great deal to the distraught blonde. So much so that his tears started to fall even faster. This time, however, they no longer had a devastated tone to them. 

As Bixlow held Rufus in his arms, he looked through to his soul and saw a shift in the colours. Within the dense black that had taken over he saw pinpricks of the white and yellow-orange that was usually there. Did she mean what she said? She would go that long without consuming any kind of alcohol? Just to give them this? 

There were no words for what the Seith Mage was feeling right then. So many emotions all in one, but the one that stood out the most to him was definitely the shock. He was stunned beyond belief at hearing what she had said. Not to mention he could almost feel the tension seeping out of Rufus as he held onto him. 

"You...You would do that for us..?" Rufus asked her, his voice quiet. Almost scared that if he were to speak any louder he'd make her come to her senses and say that no, she wouldn't do something like that, she didn't want to go through that at all. 

"Of course I would," Cana said. "I can see how much being able to have that means to you Rufus." 

Rufus shifted and left Bixlow's arms to wrap his own around the brunette in front of him. He pressed his face into her neck and held her tightly as he cried. Almost like a chant, he started thanking her over and over again, unable to say or do anything else. 

Bixlow laid a hand on Rufus's back and looked at Cana. He couldn't even say thank you to her for breaking through to Rufus. He could tell she knew though. With some things there were no words that could express what he felt and meant properly. Sometimes a simple look was all it would take.


End file.
